Blaine puffed his cheeks out as continued to just lie there. There was no way he would be able to coordinate himself to sit up, let alone move. By now, the weed had completely gone to his head, and it had happened extremely fast. It was the first time he had ever had weed and gotten high. If his dad came home right now, Blaine would probably find the whole thing hilarious, but his dad would probably freak and do that thing where he gets all squeaky when he yells, which would also be hilarious to Blaine if it happened. It would only lead to one big mess, and Blaine wasn't completely convinced he wouldn't spew all over the place if he moved too much right now. His head was spinning epically and he had little flashy lights in his peripheral vision. Plus, his nose was running and he really felt like tacos. "Dude, I don't like boobs... not even one boob. Isn't a boobologist the dude who cuts your boobs off when you wanna be a dude? Does that mean the dude who gives you a dick if you're a girl and wanna be a dude a dickologist? Or cockologist? Pahahahahahahahahahaha! Cockologist!"

He gave a shrug of his shoulder. "I dunno, dude. I could hardly see when I woke up. It was all blurry and shit. Plus, if someone's wiping your butt for you? You kinda don't want 'em to be hot, y'know? I mean, it's your butt. And I don't like chicks. Dude. I don't like chicks, you gotta remember that, k? I like Kurt, and I don't want Kurt wiping my butt. He can touch it, but no wiping it because that's really not sexy and I want him to think I'm sexy!"

"I like dicks," was Blaine's matter-of-fact response to that. It was like gospel in his mind. "I can't wait to see Kurt's dick. I bet it's so cool. Not even like a dicknugget. Kurt wouldn't having a dicknugget. Or be one. He's, like, the most amazing person ever. I kissed him. I kiss him and oh my god, it was so awesome. I didn't even wet myself that time."